I work in tourism in Lisbon, which basically means I’m a full-time translator, therapist, and emotional support local for tourists and expats alike. And no, it’s not just the Americans and Brits who stroll in thinking “hello” is a global passport. Oh no, cluelessness is an international language now.
Let’s talk about the Spaniards. Except the Galicians—they’re our polite cousins. The rest? They charge in speaking Spanish like they’ve mistaken me for their long-lost cousin from Madrid. It's machine-gun fast, automatic-fire mode, and apparently, Spanish is the official diplomatic language of the Iberian Peninsula—who knew? Doesn't matter if you're on a tram in Alfama or ordering pasteis in Belém—it's Español o nada. My favourite phrase? “No te entiendo.” With a smile, of course.
Now, the French… ooh la la. They speak as if they’re reciting poetry to the Eiffel Tower. Because français, c’est la plus belle langue du monde, right? And clearly, my failure to speak it is a personal attack on the Republic. You should see the horror in their eyes when I reply in Portuguese, after all, all their maids are Portuguese who speaks Français. It’s like I just spilled wine on their croissant.
Italians? Oh, they bring their own drama. I swear, they don’t speak—they perform. Fast speech, big gestures, and the sheer belief that if they just feel the word hard enough, I’ll understand. I’ve become fluent in miming just to keep up. It’s like trying to interpret a Shakespearean play during rush hour on the 28 tram.
And then come our dear friends from China, Japan, and Korea. So sweet, so polite—and then they send messages full of mysterious symbols and characters that make me question whether I accidentally joined the cast of a historical drama. I squint at my phone like it's a Sudoku puzzle. Are these simplified characters? Traditional? Is this even a message or a poem? I ask Google Translate to help, and it replies with something like “the mountain dreams of soup.” Sure. That clears things up.
Honestly, I wish I could pin this all on English speakers, but nope. It’s a global phenomenon now. And when someone delivers their confusion with an bad attitude—like it’s my fault they didn’t check Duolingo before boarding the plane? That’s when I unleash my inner villain and commit the worst of the crimes for a Portuguese. I recommend the worst restaurants. And the kind of wine that even our vinegar bottles would reject
I am laughing at the image of you being a emotional support local...
You are right, it is not just English speakers. I totally agree about Italians, and it is not only in Portugal, they act the same way in Slovenia (where I am originally from). Arrogance and privilege, not cluelessness, are the international language now.
There is something about big nations and their inability or unwillingness to learn another language. When Slovenia was still part of Yugoslavia, the Serbs had a saying: "Speak Serbian, so the whole world will understand you." In Ethiopia, the Amharic speakers would expect every other ethnic group to speak their language, as the dominant group, even though they were not the largest ethnic group.
Coming from a nation with only 2 million speakers, I quickly learned that I need to speak more than just my mother tongue. So I learned 11 languages. I don't speak all of them equally well, but I can definitely buy my basic groceries, order my meal, say please and thank you, hello and goodbye in all of them
I think you're spot on about it being a question of dominant groups, even if they're not as dominant or important as they think. But that's true for everyone. In Portugal we get annoyed with foreigners who don't even say Bom dia, but we don't make any effort to learn Creole either, for example.
For me, the tricky bit is trying to figure out what is cultural differences, that can lead to misunderstandings even when people have the best of intentions, and what's down to cluelessness.
In the end, when two people want to communicate, they can do so even without a common language. Between more or less universal gestures, pointing, mime, speaking slowly, we get there. You just have to be ready to accept the difficulties and laugh at misunderstandings.
PS: 11 languages? It must be fun to be in a restaurant in a foreign country understanding what the waiters are saying. And in the end, asking the bill in their language. Priceless.
Create a post with humour about other cultures, that’s basically the international version of ordering “spicy” food abroad. You think you’re just adding a little flavor, and the next thing you know, you’re either the life of the party or being quietly escorted away by a CBP agent named Ivan who doesn’t blink. It’s a gamble — comedy or deportation!
Also, just to clear things up — it's Paulo with a ‘u’, not Paolo with an ‘o’. Sadly, I´m not a handsome Italian guy.
It is low, but for the perfectionists and tourists among us who might be paralyzed by fear and limited by time, I think the big five build agency and confidence and cover basic manners. High frequency words for the win 🥇
Great piece. It takes the minimum amount of effort to download a language translation App to anyone’s phone, the use of which instantly makes communication easier.
I love attempting to speak the language. Last time I was in France I practiced with a couple different language apps and it was really helpful. Most the time people really appreciate your attempts. My husband endears himself by asking locals we meet to tell him how to say something a bit off color. They get a kick out of his pronunciation and it always ends up with a lot of laughter.
I’m surprised this is a thing. I don’t see it much here in France, but I *believe* you.
I’ve seen the reverse here. Sometimes, usually youngish men, speak very quickly and use slang.
Then, because they’re Parisian, they have the audacity to look at me like I have an IQ of 15 because I can’t understand them.
Contrary to popular belief, when speaking to someone whose second language is your language, it’s polite to annunciate, avoid slang, and slow down a bit 😉
It’s so interesting that humans feel so compelled to embellish their speech to make ourselves look cool or come off as more likable. In multilingual spaces, simple language and a smile goes a long way
Yes, whether it is industry jargon or slang, language is sometimes used to keep others out. Speaking clearly and saying what you mean is confident but makes you vulnerable. ;)
Great article, thank you. The information that is even truer for France where any interaction that does not start with Bonjour is considered the height of rudeness.
Meanwhile here in Galicia, I've been struggling to understand when I should use Hola or Buenos Días or Buen Día? Hola is more informal like Hi and Buen Día is the oposite and used mostly with older people, I think, when you're having minimal interaction with them.
Hola is hello or hi ( though it doesn’t have the connotation of informality that hi does). Buenos días is the formal Castilian greeting which you can use right up until the evening. Buen día is not used in all parts of Spain but where it is used, it does the same job, in situations where it’s appropriate to use a less formal register of speech. Personally I use hola and buenos días in combination, both with people I know very well and with strangers, and have never used buen día because it’s not a thing in the regions I know best
Thank you for the clarification, especially that Buen Día is LESS formal than Buenos Días. I had assumed the opposite as its usually rather terrifying elderly galegas who use it with me and somehow, it feels like I'm being put in my place.
Great question! I would ask a Gallego to be sure, but I've heard people say "Buen día" and "Buenos días" until Spanish lunchtime, roughly between 1 and 3 PM.
I've heard people from Galicia and other places say "Buen día" for the morning. "Buenas" is an acceptable, casual, shortened greeting in Spain and other Spanish-speaking countries.
I work in tourism in Lisbon, which basically means I’m a full-time translator, therapist, and emotional support local for tourists and expats alike. And no, it’s not just the Americans and Brits who stroll in thinking “hello” is a global passport. Oh no, cluelessness is an international language now.
Let’s talk about the Spaniards. Except the Galicians—they’re our polite cousins. The rest? They charge in speaking Spanish like they’ve mistaken me for their long-lost cousin from Madrid. It's machine-gun fast, automatic-fire mode, and apparently, Spanish is the official diplomatic language of the Iberian Peninsula—who knew? Doesn't matter if you're on a tram in Alfama or ordering pasteis in Belém—it's Español o nada. My favourite phrase? “No te entiendo.” With a smile, of course.
Now, the French… ooh la la. They speak as if they’re reciting poetry to the Eiffel Tower. Because français, c’est la plus belle langue du monde, right? And clearly, my failure to speak it is a personal attack on the Republic. You should see the horror in their eyes when I reply in Portuguese, after all, all their maids are Portuguese who speaks Français. It’s like I just spilled wine on their croissant.
Italians? Oh, they bring their own drama. I swear, they don’t speak—they perform. Fast speech, big gestures, and the sheer belief that if they just feel the word hard enough, I’ll understand. I’ve become fluent in miming just to keep up. It’s like trying to interpret a Shakespearean play during rush hour on the 28 tram.
And then come our dear friends from China, Japan, and Korea. So sweet, so polite—and then they send messages full of mysterious symbols and characters that make me question whether I accidentally joined the cast of a historical drama. I squint at my phone like it's a Sudoku puzzle. Are these simplified characters? Traditional? Is this even a message or a poem? I ask Google Translate to help, and it replies with something like “the mountain dreams of soup.” Sure. That clears things up.
Honestly, I wish I could pin this all on English speakers, but nope. It’s a global phenomenon now. And when someone delivers their confusion with an bad attitude—like it’s my fault they didn’t check Duolingo before boarding the plane? That’s when I unleash my inner villain and commit the worst of the crimes for a Portuguese. I recommend the worst restaurants. And the kind of wine that even our vinegar bottles would reject
I am laughing at the image of you being a emotional support local...
You are right, it is not just English speakers. I totally agree about Italians, and it is not only in Portugal, they act the same way in Slovenia (where I am originally from). Arrogance and privilege, not cluelessness, are the international language now.
There is something about big nations and their inability or unwillingness to learn another language. When Slovenia was still part of Yugoslavia, the Serbs had a saying: "Speak Serbian, so the whole world will understand you." In Ethiopia, the Amharic speakers would expect every other ethnic group to speak their language, as the dominant group, even though they were not the largest ethnic group.
Coming from a nation with only 2 million speakers, I quickly learned that I need to speak more than just my mother tongue. So I learned 11 languages. I don't speak all of them equally well, but I can definitely buy my basic groceries, order my meal, say please and thank you, hello and goodbye in all of them
I think you're spot on about it being a question of dominant groups, even if they're not as dominant or important as they think. But that's true for everyone. In Portugal we get annoyed with foreigners who don't even say Bom dia, but we don't make any effort to learn Creole either, for example.
For me, the tricky bit is trying to figure out what is cultural differences, that can lead to misunderstandings even when people have the best of intentions, and what's down to cluelessness.
In the end, when two people want to communicate, they can do so even without a common language. Between more or less universal gestures, pointing, mime, speaking slowly, we get there. You just have to be ready to accept the difficulties and laugh at misunderstandings.
PS: 11 languages? It must be fun to be in a restaurant in a foreign country understanding what the waiters are saying. And in the end, asking the bill in their language. Priceless.
Boa tarde, Paulo 👋 I hope you make this comment a post! I’m relieved to hear that cluelessness is universal. Your revenge is 🤌👏
Create a post with humour about other cultures, that’s basically the international version of ordering “spicy” food abroad. You think you’re just adding a little flavor, and the next thing you know, you’re either the life of the party or being quietly escorted away by a CBP agent named Ivan who doesn’t blink. It’s a gamble — comedy or deportation!
Also, just to clear things up — it's Paulo with a ‘u’, not Paolo with an ‘o’. Sadly, I´m not a handsome Italian guy.
Sorry for misspelling your name; I corrected it quickly after. I hope you keep sharing your stories!
Great post, Rachel, yes, it is so easy to learn those few words. You're setting the bar super low.
It is low, but for the perfectionists and tourists among us who might be paralyzed by fear and limited by time, I think the big five build agency and confidence and cover basic manners. High frequency words for the win 🥇
Great piece. It takes the minimum amount of effort to download a language translation App to anyone’s phone, the use of which instantly makes communication easier.
Preach, Gary!
Attempting the language basics in a foreign country is a common courtesy that, unfortunately, is not as common as it should be.
Not to do the basics shows a lack of respect and reflects badly on the visiting nationality.
Absolutely. Just learn some phrases. It requires so little.
I love attempting to speak the language. Last time I was in France I practiced with a couple different language apps and it was really helpful. Most the time people really appreciate your attempts. My husband endears himself by asking locals we meet to tell him how to say something a bit off color. They get a kick out of his pronunciation and it always ends up with a lot of laughter.
These are both great tips for making fast friends 😁🤗
здравствуйте is bloody difficult though (and Привет seems to be inadmissible with strangers)
I'm not familiar with cyrillic characters, but thankfully Google translate gives us audio samples so anyone can practice pronunciation.
I’m surprised this is a thing. I don’t see it much here in France, but I *believe* you.
I’ve seen the reverse here. Sometimes, usually youngish men, speak very quickly and use slang.
Then, because they’re Parisian, they have the audacity to look at me like I have an IQ of 15 because I can’t understand them.
Contrary to popular belief, when speaking to someone whose second language is your language, it’s polite to annunciate, avoid slang, and slow down a bit 😉
It’s so interesting that humans feel so compelled to embellish their speech to make ourselves look cool or come off as more likable. In multilingual spaces, simple language and a smile goes a long way
Yes, whether it is industry jargon or slang, language is sometimes used to keep others out. Speaking clearly and saying what you mean is confident but makes you vulnerable. ;)
☝️so true. Especially if you’re a woman
Great article, thank you. The information that is even truer for France where any interaction that does not start with Bonjour is considered the height of rudeness.
Meanwhile here in Galicia, I've been struggling to understand when I should use Hola or Buenos Días or Buen Día? Hola is more informal like Hi and Buen Día is the oposite and used mostly with older people, I think, when you're having minimal interaction with them.
So when do you use Buenos Días?
Hola is hello or hi ( though it doesn’t have the connotation of informality that hi does). Buenos días is the formal Castilian greeting which you can use right up until the evening. Buen día is not used in all parts of Spain but where it is used, it does the same job, in situations where it’s appropriate to use a less formal register of speech. Personally I use hola and buenos días in combination, both with people I know very well and with strangers, and have never used buen día because it’s not a thing in the regions I know best
Thank you for the clarification, especially that Buen Día is LESS formal than Buenos Días. I had assumed the opposite as its usually rather terrifying elderly galegas who use it with me and somehow, it feels like I'm being put in my place.
I can imagine them using it in a tone of voice that suggests “don’t push your luck, sonny”
Great question! I would ask a Gallego to be sure, but I've heard people say "Buen día" and "Buenos días" until Spanish lunchtime, roughly between 1 and 3 PM.
D'oh, I was thinking of mornings, of course. Is there a buon día equivalent for Buenas tardes? Buen tard sounds like something scatalogical.
I've heard people from Galicia and other places say "Buen día" for the morning. "Buenas" is an acceptable, casual, shortened greeting in Spain and other Spanish-speaking countries.